LESSON NOTES · レッスンノート

N3How you sound · Sep 14, 2026

Japanese idioms: 20 慣用句かんようく that actually come up in conversation

Japanese idioms cluster into two families you can learn as a set: expressions built from body parts (口くちが堅かたい, 耳みみが痛いたい, 手てを貸かす) and expressions built around what other people see you do (後ろ指うしろゆびを指さされる, 見みて見みぬふり). Learn the body-part family for utility, and the social family for what it reveals about the culture.

Idioms are the point where a learner stops sounding like a textbook. They are also where learners most often overreach — dropping a proverb into a casual chat is like saying "a stitch in time saves nine" to a colleague at lunch.

The basics

慣用句かんようく, ことわざ and 四よ字じ熟語じゅくご are different things

Type What it is Example
慣用句かんようく Idiom — a fixed phrase with a figurative meaning 手てを貸かす
ことわざ Proverb — a saying with a lesson 猿さるも木きから落おちる
四よ字じ熟語じゅくご Four-character compound, often from Chinese 一石二鳥いっせきにちょう

This article is about 慣用句かんようく, because those are the ones that appear in ordinary conversation. Proverbs are for writing and for the occasional well-placed remark; four-character compounds live mostly in speeches and newspapers.

The body-part family

This is the largest group by far, and the meanings are usually guessable once you know the pattern.

Idiom Literal Means
口くちが堅かたい mouth is hard can keep a secret
口くちが軽かるい mouth is light can't keep a secret
顔かおが広ひろい face is wide well connected
耳みみが痛いたい ears hurt that criticism hits home
頭あたまが下さがる head lowers I have real respect for them
目めがない has no eyes has a weakness for
手てを貸かす lend a hand help out
腹はらが立たつ stomach stands up to get angry
猫ねこの手ても借かりたい want to borrow a cat's paws desperately short-handed
足あしを引っ張ひっぱる pull someone's leg hold the team back

彼女かのじょは口くちが堅かたいから、話はなしても大丈夫だいじょうぶですよ。 — She can keep a secret, so it's fine to tell her. (polite) 甘あまいものには目めがないんです。 — I have a real weakness for sweets. (polite — 目めがない, not "blind")

Note that 足あしを引っ張ひっぱる is a false friend: it does not mean "tease someone." It means holding others back, and it is a genuine criticism.

The social family

A second cluster is about being watched, and it says something about the culture it grew in:

Idiom Means
後ろ指うしろゆびを指さされる to be talked about behind your back
見みて見みぬふりをする to turn a blind eye
周まわりの目めを気きにする to worry about what people think
羽目はめを外はずす to let loose, go overboard
無礼講ぶれいこう an occasion where rank is set aside

後ろ指うしろゆびを指さされるようなことはしていません。 — I've done nothing anyone could talk about behind my back. (polite — a defence) 今日きょうは無礼講ぶれいこうで。 — Tonight, forget about rank. (said by the senior person at a drinking party)

無礼講ぶれいこう is worth knowing before your first work drinks. It is announced by the most senior person present, and it means the usual hierarchy is suspended — although how literally to take that varies enormously by company, which is its own lesson in when to switch registers.

Beyond the basics

Which Japanese proverbs are actually worth learning?

ことわざ are a separate category from the idioms above: a proverb carries a lesson, an idiom just carries a figurative meaning. There are thousands, most of them are archive material, and a small number are genuinely in use. These are the ones I hear from actual people:

Proverb Literally What it means
猿さるも木きから落おちる Even monkeys fall from trees Everyone makes mistakes
七転しちてんび八起やおきき Fall seven times, get up eight Keep going after failure
喉元のどもと過すぎれば熱あつさを忘わすれる Once it's down your throat you forget the heat People forget hardship once it's over
石いしの上うえにも三年さんねん Three years even on a rock Persistence warms even cold ground
出でる杭くいは打うたれる The stake that sticks out gets hammered Standing out invites correction
塵ちりも積つもれば山やまとなる Even dust piles into a mountain Small things accumulate
郷さとに入はいっては郷さとに従したがえ Entering a village, follow the village When in Rome
花はなより団子だんご Dumplings over flowers Substance over appearance
案あんずるより産うむが易やさし Giving birth is easier than worrying about it The dread is worse than the thing
急いそがば回まわれ If in a hurry, go around Haste makes waste

Two of these are worth extra attention. 出でる杭くいは打うたれる is quoted constantly in discussions of Japanese society, usually critically, and it is often the first proverb a learner meets in an article rather than in life. 花はなより団子だんご is genuinely used in conversation and is a good one to have ready — it works any time someone chooses the practical option over the pretty one.

Proverbs shorten in use, the way English ones do. 猿さるも木きから落おちる often arrives as just 猿さるも木きから, and 七転しちてんび八起やおきき appears on its own as an encouragement with no sentence around it.

Use them sparingly — one in a conversation is charming, three is a performance. A proverb from a learner lands well precisely because it is unexpected, and that effect does not survive repetition.

Idioms conjugate normally

They are ordinary grammar wearing figurative clothes:

手てを貸かしてくれませんか。 — Could you give me a hand? (polite request — te-form + くれる)

腹はらが立たった (got angry), 耳みみが痛いたいです (that stings), 目めがなくて (having a weakness for, connecting). Nothing special is required — if you can conjugate the verb, you can use the idiom.

The ones that do not translate

Some idioms map cleanly onto English (手てを貸かす = lend a hand). Others do not, and those are the ones worth extra attention:

  • 耳みみが痛いたい has no clean English equivalent. It is what you say when someone's criticism is fair and you know it — an admission, not a complaint.
  • 頭あたまが下さがる is respect specifically for someone's effort or perseverance, not for their status.
  • 顔かおが広ひろい is neutral to positive. English "well connected" can sound calculating; 顔かおが広ひろい does not.

Where to hear them

Idioms are dense in workplace conversation and in anime dialogue about relationships. They are rare in news and in service Japanese, which prefers plain phrasing. If your listening practice is all news, you will not meet these — the same gap that leaves learners without onomatopoeia, the other big informal vocabulary family.

A note on overreach

Idioms make you sound fluent when they fit and strange when they don't. Two rules that keep you safe:

  1. Use one you have actually heard in a real conversation, in the same situation.
  2. When in doubt, say the plain version. 助たすけてください always works; a mistimed 猫ねこの手ても借かりたい does not.

Learners tend to collect idioms faster than they collect the situations to use them in — and the same trap catches wasei-eigo, where the words look easy and the usage isn't.

Common mistakes

  • Translating 足あしを引っ張ひっぱる as "pull someone's leg." It means holding the group back and it is a real criticism.
  • Using 目めがない to mean blind. It means having a weakness for something.
  • Taking 無礼講ぶれいこう completely literally. Rank is suspended in name; read the room.
  • Deploying proverbs in casual chat. One is charming, several is a performance.
  • Assuming 耳みみが痛いたい is a complaint. It is an admission that the criticism landed.

Practice

Answers are hidden — build yours first, then open. Questions 3 and 4 are a pair: the same body part, opposite meanings.

1. What does 猫ねこの手ても借かりたい mean?

Show answer

Desperately short-handed — so busy you'd take help from a cat, which would be useless. The uselessness is the joke.

2. Say "could you give me a hand?" politely, using an idiom.

Show answer

手てを貸かしてくれませんか — idioms conjugate normally: te-form plus くれる for a request.

3. What does 口くちが堅かたい mean?

Show answer

Can keep a secret — a hard mouth does not open.

4. What does 口くちが軽かるい mean?

Show answer

Cannot keep a secret — a light mouth opens easily. This is the pair to question 3: same body part, opposite adjective.

5. Someone criticises you and they are right. Which idiom?

Show answer

耳みみが痛いたいです — it is an admission that the criticism landed, not a complaint about being criticised.

6. Something is wrong here: 彼かれはいつもチームの足あしを引っ張ひっぱって、みんなを笑わらわせます。

Show answer

足あしを引っ張ひっぱる means holding the team back — it is a criticism, not teasing. The English "pull someone's leg" is a false friend.

7. Say "I have a real weakness for sweets."

Show answer

甘あまいものには目めがないんです — 目めがない is a weakness for something, not blindness.

8. Your boss says 今日きょうは無礼講ぶれいこうで at a work party. What has just happened?

Show answer

Rank has officially been set aside for the evening — announced by the most senior person. How literally to take it varies by company.

9. What does 見みて見みぬふりをする mean, and which family does it belong to?

Show answer

To turn a blind eye — the social family — the idioms built around being seen, alongside 後ろ指うしろゆびを指さされる and 周まわりの目めを気きにする.

10. You need help and you are not sure an idiom fits. What do you say?

Show answer

助たすけてください — the plain version always works. A mistimed idiom does not.

FAQ

How many idioms should I learn? Twenty well-chosen ones will cover most conversations. Depth beats breadth — knowing exactly when 耳みみが痛いたい fits is worth more than recognising fifty phrases.

Are idioms formal or casual? Most are register-neutral; politeness comes from the verb ending. 手てを貸かしていただけますか is perfectly formal.

Do young people still use these? The body-part ones, yes, constantly. Proverbs less so, and some four-character compounds sound dated in speech.

Is 大丈夫だいじょうぶ an idiom? No, it is ordinary vocabulary — though its range has expanded so far in recent years that it now covers "yes," "no," and "no thank you" depending on tone.

Where can I check whether an idiom fits? Look for it in the situation you want to use it in, not in a dictionary. Idioms are about context, and dictionaries only give you meaning.

Why so many body parts? Because emotions and social positions are felt physically, and older layers of the language named them that way. Japanese is not unusual here — English has "cold feet" and "a good head on your shoulders" — but the family is larger and more systematic.

Vocabulary from this article

Tap the block to select all of it, then copy. In Anki: File → Import, note type Basic, separator Tab — the first column becomes the front, the second the back.

慣用句	かんようく — idiom
口	くち — mouth
堅い	かたい — hard, firm
軽い	かるい — light
顔	かお — face
広い	ひろい — wide
耳	みみ — ear
痛い	いたい — painful
頭	あたま — head
下がる	さがる — to go down
目	め — eye
手	て — hand
貸す	かす — to lend
腹	はら — stomach, belly
立つ	たつ — to stand
猫	ねこ — cat
借りる	かりる — to borrow
足	あし — leg, foot
引っ張る	ひっぱる — to pull
後ろ指	うしろゆび — pointing behind someone's back
羽目	はめ — bounds, restraint
外す	はずす — to remove, to step outside
無礼講	ぶれいこう — a party with rank set aside
喉元	のどもと — throat
熱さ	あつさ — heat
忘れる	わすれる — to forget
甘い	あまい — sweet
助ける	たすける — to help, to rescue

I'm Yuuki, a Japanese teacher based in Tokyo. I've taught on italki as a Top 1% teacher and watched over 1,500 anime. The lessons learners remember longest are the ones where a handful of idioms land together — 無礼講ぶれいこう, 後ろ指うしろゆびを指さす, 羽目はめを外はずす — because they are not vocabulary, they are a description of how a room works.

Book a trial lesson · $13

Sources: the author's own lessons and standard reference grammars.

More drills like the ones above, plus a timed JLPT-style mock test: Practice · N3

Want to try this in a real conversation?

30-minute trial lesson, $13. Times shown in your own timezone.

Book a trial lesson · $13